Hello - I am back to update again after a long time. The holidays have just whooshed by and now its less than two weeks to the start of school. Not looking forward to it but I guess when it starts, I will be fine. I kind of know what classes I am teaching -and will be teaching classes which has some change agents. Haha wonder what will the look will be on their faces when they see me. But nothing to worry - I am such a nice caring teacher. They have "nothing" to worry about at all.
I have been on a few outings - the ice skating was great, meeting up with anna and viv(which as always is enjoyable) and shopping! I have cleared my study and dressing room and it looks so much better..... (and no pictures . ........ some things are just for my eyes only)
Today the N level results came out. While quite a few have done well ( I am very happy for them) a certain group took it too lightly. - The end result? The worst result out of the rest of the subjects. With 31% distinctions it may be considered ok but compared to the rest of the subjects greatly a letdown. The students will be out celebrating but for me, I have to answer why there was a dip in the performance. And I ask myself did I give my 100% ? I think I did. But still, I need to relook at teaching methods and see if there is any way in which I can improve.

To start off we were all hanging on to the railings and at the end progress to the centre of the rink - well most did it this way but there was one who stayed in the centre and then progress was getting back to base. ; )

Well after all the dingdonging about to go on Monday or not - we finally went ice skating. Too bad not all the change agents could join us. It was fun and after the first few attempts ended at failure, one person actually went " Can we not come here again?" but after another hour the same person didn't want to leave! It was a good day and we all enjoyed ourselves. It was great to see them trying again and again until they finally got the hang of it. And to see them getting along so well. (photos to be loaded when I can find the the missing wire for the camera - kekeke)
Went to school today for two back to back workshops from 9 in the morning all the way to 4.30 pm - my table is still a mess - I have to clean it up before school starts. Have been procastinating it - I must do it by this week. Anyone game to do it? I'll pay you by the hour. $5?
Other than that, tomorrow breakfast and lunch with friends. Now where is Anna's pressie? Argh more clearing up to find it.

Its the holidays and I still have so many things to do - procastinating a bit as a wave of depression hangs over me. Have been shopping and I think I have gone overboard -( A new laptop, 4 blouses, 3 pants, 1 skirt and 3 dresses. So now I have new clothes to wear for next year but no shoes! Help! I still can't find nice ones - when I finally do they don't have my size. The search continues. But I am going to give it a break - am not going anywhere near the mall or shops for a while. At this rate I would have spent my bonus before I even get it. Suppose to go ice-skating on mon - how many people going I don't know - well whether it is a small or large group I guess all of us need the day of fun. On a good note my friend is FINALLY back from her long trip so I am happy.

Well by now the English exam is over.. Hope all did well.....

Was talking to a few students after the first paper when one of the girls was telling me how her friends from another school and her were laughing at the book of essays given by the P. The essays were by other sec 4 students from this school. They probably put in a lot of thought into crafting as original narratives as possible. This book is distributed to every graduating student so they get some ideas for narratives. She was telling me thinking I would find if funny as well. But I didn't. What disturbed me about what she said was that she had laughed along with the friends from another school. It was as if she had transferred schools and she had nothing to do with this school. Silly girl - doesn't she even realise? Like it or not the school name is synonymous with her wherever she goes. Whether it is abroad or here, every job she applies for she needs to put down her school name. I was quite shocked at how elitist she was. It must be quite cool to get together with outside friends and run down your own school but don't you get it? You are part of that school too. You may stop wearing the uniform but it is your alma mater. I can imagine her future conversations going like this " Oh you are from XX(an estd school)? I am from an unknown school " Who is losing out here? And worse when the friend from the other school made a comment like " Oh your school standard is so low, I was going to do argumentative but now I'll do narrative since all the other schools like yours writes such bad essays" she didn't even defend the school.

When you run down a school you run down everything else that goes with it like your friends who have worked hard to put the school on the map through their wonderful performances in music and CCA, the teachers who go the extra mile to sit down and explain patiently to you the concepts and you yourself who is a product of the school. Coz you don't say what exactly needs to be improved but run down the school name instead. It's sad because it's not a competitor or another school student who does it but you. It is like going to a party. The organiser tries to get you to take part in the activities. You sit in a corner and complain that it is boring without even making the effort to try. Maybe you are really naive and don't realise what you are doing. Maybe you feel it is cool to be ashamed of your school. Maybe I haven't been a good teacher and taught you these things. Whatever the reason, the person who is going to lose out in the long run is you.

English Exam

Tomorrow is the day of the English exam. All the work done in the past year will culminate in that one exam. Whatever I have or have not done will be reflected in that exam. I have gone through the various types of situational writing such as speech, formal letter, informal letter, report, proposal, article and programme leaflet. I have gone through the format, made them do it and have given samples. They have a whole book of essays. And they have practised about 7 of other school papers in the last term alone. For argumentative or expository essays they need to read the question carefully and then follow the structure they are used to. For narrative they need the descriptions and the feelings of people. So now, it's all in their hands. (I feel so helpless)It's difficult I know. They have Maths, SS, Chemistry, English, Physics and Geog all in the same week. It's going to be a draining week. Yet I hope that they remember the right things at the right time and that inspration strikes them and they write wonderful stories. God Bless All of US!

Paradox

An ex-colleague once told me that I am harsh with students as I don't have kids of my own whereas those with kids will tend to be more understanding of their students. Now I wonder if it's because I am too harsh with students that I don't get to have kids.

This is a super-depressing post so bear with it. We didn't get through to next round of the debates. While a feeling of numbness was there yesterday, this morning it suddenly dawned on me what really happened and I am feeling the full force of it. It is all my fault that we lost. I should have started on Tuesday itself. I should have started them on their speeches earlier. I should have put them on the spot and questioned them until they couldn't take it. I should have listened to them and fired the instructor earlier. I should have read up on the topic more. I should have focussed on the debators themselves instead of trying to make it a worthwhile experience for all. But like in all situations, with the knowledge of hindsight it is always easier to say I should have...... It is easy to say knowing what happened that I should have done this and should have been prepared. But at the point I couldn't have known the competition we had. Oh that the trainer would be like that. Still the event is over with and I can't do anything to change it. I can only learn from it and be pleased that for a team that just started out this year, we have progressed. And next year we will do it again, only better. Thanks for all the hard work guys - I am really happy to have you in my CCA.

To the one I spoke out to - yes I think you got the message - and I understand.... I hope you will be alright as you are one of the humblest and most kind-hearted students I know and all I really hope for is for you to do well in life and be happy.

Ok I owe some people an apology. School finished early at 12 today and as a result, a meeting got pushed up and it upset the schedule. I will make it up to them next week. I also had to go to train the debate team as the competition is on Saturday. I fired the trainer after he and I had a showdown. Looking back it is quite funny as I was sitting down the whole time (was having pain after an injection) and trying to talk and he was getting agitated and walking around. In the end I decided it was best to part ways coz I didn't want my change agents in the wrong hands. And it was how he changed his words - in the beginning when he came they were very good and now he says they are not good at all and need a lot of work. So it didn't make sense. Well anyway I think it is better for the kids.

Its been raining like crazy!. I love the rain - especially thunderstorms. As long I am not stuck outside I love it how it gets dark - almost like it is night, then the wind howls and there is a cool breeze and then the rain starts - everything becomes wet and it feels so cold that it is time for a nice hot chocolate. Speaking of rain - thank you jasmine for the chocolates! You really made my day!

Exams and consultations

I have been seeing and hearing from students who have been coming back to school for consultation. I have been reading some blogs. And what I see and hear worries me. There are some who still at this point think that studying for 2 - 3 hours is enough and want to have whole day breaks coz they are too stressed from "all that studying" Then you read about students from other classes who have been studying 7 - 8 hours a day and still lamenting time is running out. AND then you get real worried. What are my kids doing gallavanting in town? (Applies to some only - i know the ones who are genuinely studying and taking small breaks) Some are still gaming. If they can't sacrifice one month and have to indulge in immediate pleasures, how are they going through life when they need to sacrifice a lot more of their time? You have to put in the hard work to get the grades you desire.

And to the one who says no need to work so hard coz the course he wants to apply to doesn't require high grades,- how stupid can you get? What if suddenly next year a lot of peope think the same way and apply for the course? And the standard is set higher? And you don't get in? What are you going to do then? Redo is it? Where are you going to redo it? You don't have the discipline to do it now as a school candidate and you think you can have same kind of resources as a private candidate? Talk about living in a dream world. Good luck! And no matter how much you want to advise them, they don't want to hear it coz they want to make their own mistakes. I mean, to come and say now - oh I haven't started this subject or that - hehe what to do - HELLO! DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW! Stop waiting for other people to push you and motivate you.

Then there are those students who turn up for English consultations with head and shoulder shrugs.

Me: What did you bring?

Student: Huh must bring ah?/Bring what huh?

Me: Never mind - do this compre

You book one hour with me. I have a hell of lot of things to do. I put it all on hold so you can have uninterrupted time with me. Then you come empty-handed . You just ASSUME that I will have something for you. That tells me a lot about your attitude. Either it is plain laziness, blurness and flat out "heck care". If you have done something, then at least we can discuss. Or at least go through your file and write down what you don't understand. Then you learn something.

Oh the classic happened yesterday - a parent called to book consultation for her child ( good you are concerned about your child) but sounded unhappy when I had no slots left until Thursday. Then called again to book another slot next week - and wanted it at the convenience of the child. I didn't understand why the child couldn't make the phonecall. So next time the child goes for a job interview, the parent would sit in and answer the questions?

Space

Am up on a public holiday at ungodly hour. Some idiot called me on my handphone 4 times. The first time I ignored it and went back to sleep. Then this person called again and again. Finally I woke up cursing and am wide awake. I didn't recognise the number but the thought that was running through my head was that it was some students making me a last call before attempting something stupid and what if I didn't answer. So I get up and call the idiot. It was a wrong number. Someone who claimed he got an sms from this number and wanted to know who it was. SO SMS @! And at 5 in the morning! Did you really need to find out who it was that early in the morning? Now I am too hyped up to go back to sleep. Imagine thinking about the students even after they have left school. I have to stop this I really do -

Went to cold storage to get some stuff and found my favourite chocolate - tucked away in a corner - Kit Kat (Mint flavour) limited edition - grabbed 2 packs and was estatic. One bite of it and all the worries of the day disappeared. So if you want me to be your good friend - just give Kit Kat(Mint) and I'll be your friend for life. ; p

Yesterday I ran away from school - Er not running away as in scared of something - Just needed some time away as it was home to school and school to home for about 2 weeks - I was getting sick of that. And of students bugging me - I hate it when the students look at us as their slaves and that our life should revolve around them. I mean to some of them we are not humans - we should be in school all the time and when we are not - they ask why? Did you think we dropped from the sky ready to serve you? I am in school from 630 in the morning to about 7 - 8 in the evenings. On the one day I go out to have lunch at 330 ( which means I haven't eaten anything since the morning) I get asked - oh are you leaving school already? Then when having lunch, an sms on if I am in school and if it is possible to collect worksheet earlier. Then when I come back to school - a sigh from a student on why I have been away from school for so long. Hello! I am not your slave - You can wait for your worksheet at the time you were supposed to get it. My life does not revolve around you . Be a little sensitive to others' needs as well. Think before you ask and be more considerate. Its not that I will not help but makes me a bit more willing to.

I also have no patience for students who promise to get things done and then sit on it waiting for instructions at each stage. When you ask why it is not done, "Oh you didn't say......." " I didnt know......." "I thought........."I give responsibility for the task because I trust the person to do it by the time it is supposed to be done. If I need to give instructions for each stage, then I might as well do it myself. I am giving the chance for the students to take ownership for the project - take the initiative, do a bit of research and get it done. I hate it when the answer comes out wishy washy and worse when I have to chase and ask - what happened - Why can't the student come and explain ? Like I don't have a million things to do already!

This morning I received an opportunity, one I had been waiting for a long time but due to circumstances I needed to turn it down. It brought into question what my dreams and priorities were and it seems strange two of my dreams had to contradict each other. I had to choose one at the expense of the other. One is what I want and the other is what my loved ones want - it is heartbreaking but I have to choose not to be selfish. Hopefully the opportunity will present itself another year - if it doesn't, it will be a regret I will carry for the rest of my life. And now I have to lay it to rest and not obsess about it.

Haven't posted in a long time - too many things happening too little time to blog. Most recently prelim exams and its just over. Results are out and disappointing as very few distinctions. My class has some very horrible results overall - the kind that you cannot even get into poly with. So last week I decided to go up to class to give them some comforting words during night study. And what do I see - the boys playing cards - sent one of them home and the rest argued that they were only taking a break - goodness you fail an exam and the same day you start playing cards? I really cannot understand it. Taking things is one thing - but to taken things easy all the time? denial Denial DENIAL. They just don't get it that they don't get good results they can't get anywhere.

But on the bright side some of them have woken up and are doing something about it . Hopefully they dont take too many breaks. How to tell them without boring them that they need to wake up now and really work for something ? That one hour of studying in a day is simply not enough. Oh God wbat are they going to do next year when the results come out? Cry their hearts out? AnD I have to be there to watch it? How to tahan?

Friendship

Why do you hold on to a friendship that is dying? Simply for the reason that it has been a long friendship? This friend I have had for more than 10 years. We have shared long talks, movies and sharing sessions. But recently it seems like I am making all the effort, all the forgiving and all the understanding. The few times we meet we always end up talking about her exciting life, her problems. In between I get asked how my life is. As soon as I start talking about school, I get the feeling she switches off. Even when its about a positive experience, there's no encouragement. Two sentences in and we are talking about her again. I don't mind listening to her problems but I wish sometimes to be listened to as well. It has been like this for years but I hold on in the hope that it will change. Due to the busy period in school I don't get a chance to call so often. But yet I made the attempt to call. She was warm on the phone. We had small talk and she asked when we could meet. Somehow I wasn't too excited about meeting up. I was hesitant as I didn't want to meet up and do all the listening. So we drift apart further.

Maybe its my job as a teacher. More and more, people switch off when I talk about school - to them school is boring and students are so childish. Sometimes people would ask - Why don't you teach in a polytechnic or an independent school? Teaching in a neighbourhood school must mean you met a lot of troublesome kids. Why not go for an easier environment? Why indeed? They just don't get it. And thus this teacher's world gets smaller as only other teacher friends understand what I go through. But I don't want it to be like that. I am interested in finding out about other people's lives and their jobs. So why can't they listen about my job? How do I motivate myself when outside my teaching world, it is considered a dead end job?

On the other hand another friend - I needed to pass her something but I couldn't. I didn't call her as I felt she would think that I was irresponsible. Today I saw her from a distance and called to tell her I has seen her. She was already at her car with her husband when she dropped everything she was doing and walked back just to see me. No scoldings. And we picked up on our conversation from some time ago. And she just happens to be a teacher. So maybe I should just thank my lucky stars and should be content with my teacher friends.

I was upset today. No 2 on the "why i hate school" list happened. I had scolded a student for being 10 min late for class and she had gone to the back and made the comment that for nothing I had scolded her and that I must be having PMS. So I shouldn't scold when you are late? Try walking in late in uni - see if anyone cares - they just bar you from exams for missed lectures and then you repeat the year. You know its at these times I thank god for my form class - I scold them a lot but they really think about what I say and not just take it that I am scolding them because I am in a bad mood. PMS indeed! I have never suffered from PMS and don't intend to start now. Talk about students being nice and sweet to you in front of your face and then backstabbing you - I will keep my distance.

The results of MT came out on Friday - as the students went about celebrating, commiserating and deciding whether to retake I had a minor panic attack when I saw the paper with all the names the subject codes and the grades beside them.. It would be my turn to look at the paper come March - and with 2 classes sitting for the exams I wonder what the grades would be - What if they don't get a three and above? Then I would feel so guilty that I didn't do enough... But then again what can I do if some of the kids don't listen in class and keep on making the same mistakes... Look after those who really make the effort I guess. The panic attack didn't last but I expect more of them esp after the prelims. Like my husband says, I am a masochist - I keep doing this year after year......

The weekend has gone by so fast....
I wanted to do so many things but in the end only managed to mark half of what I wanted to
I went to my mum's place after a month and only because I forced myself to make the time
I just wanted to stay in and mark - geesh what a life
And I came up with two lists

Why I hate school
- the marking - when you have to mark work where the student doesn't put in effort and does it in ten minutes - then you spend 30 minutes correcting all the mistakes - you give it back and the next piece of work comes back with the same mistakes
- the students - students who have such venomous hate for you and you don't understand why, the ones who are so nice to you in front of you and once your back is turned, start complaining about you
- the hours - when you leave the house it is dark and when you reach home it is dark - you don't have time to look at the sky and breathe
- there is no time to do anything else - like watch a movie, catch up with friends, etc
Why I like school
- the marking - when you come across students who make the effort to improve and learn from the mistakes , am so proud when I see them learning
- the students - the ones who look out for you and give you a warm smile when they see you
- the friends who comfort you and give you new strength when you are down
- the sense of achievement that comes when a performance you have co-ordinated comes together
Is the glass half empty or half full?

"If' by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream and not make dreams your master,
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And–which is more–you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

Came across this poem which seems to be telling me a message....

The Flying Shoe (A Fantasy)

There is a saying in Tamil of which a direct translation means "I'll take off my slipper and hit you". It is said when you are scolding someone and want to knock some sense into them. We use it very rarely. Today I had visions of taking off my shoe, throwing it (it travels in slow motion ala "The Matrix") and hitting the heads of a few of my students. Why you ask? They were talking as the entire level was being addressed by the P. They were being talked about (not very positively I must add) and all they were interested in was catching up with each other. Since I couldn't catch their attention from where I was standing, a fantasy took shape. And in my fantasy, my students will miraculously turn over a new leaf with one hit on the head and become model students. Alas! It will just remain a fantasy. For neither am I going to throw any shoes (no wasting of good shoes) nor are the kids going to change overnight.

School
As usual, am busy at school. Mountains of papers to mark. And a class that gets into the news every week. Just when I have finished telling everyone about the wonderful class that bought me a cake, some of them get into trouble again. And especially after the talk of how's one person's actions can affect the rest of the class name. This time for what? Burning paper in class. When asked why, "Oh the lighter was there! so we decided to play with it." And worse the two boys only thought it was a mistake because they were caught - if they were not, then it was a trivial matter. They couldn't understand why they were being caught for a simple matter. It doesn't matter that nothing dangerous happened but that it could have. Then after the the dangerous thing has happened you cannot go back and say "Oh I should not have done it". And now I wonder "What is a lighter doing in class?"
A parent called to lament that her son was not talking to her properly. He has been such an obedient boy but now he only answered in monosyllables. I told her it was a teenage fad and that it will pass it soon. But you know what, I cannot wait for some of the boys in my class to go through NS. That is when they will learn to be more mature. Some walk around with a swagger thinking they are so cool. Please! It really is pathetic.

Service Standards

Went shopping with my husband for my overdue birthday present. He got me a Braun Buffel wallet and pouch. Yay! Was still on a high after getting it. I was looking at watches and asked the salesperson to take out two watches. After I tried on the first one, I gave it to him and tried on the second one. Was discussing with my husband which was the better one, when the salesguy started fixing the first watch on the plastic stand and putting it back into the display case. He was more concerned about putting things back neatly than making a sale! Such bad service. We walked off after that.

It reminded me of a time in Hong Kong. I was at this shop and was trying out clothes. The saleslady kept bringing blouses to see if I liked them. Each time I would give an excuse like "I don't want too much embroidery", or "I don't like too thin" and each time she would go around the shop and find something else. Each time she did this, she didn't show a black face. And this happened in any shop, I walked into in Hong Kong. At the rate we are going, other countries are going to overtake us in service standards.

My birthday was a blast. Got many sms and had great presents. Got a pair of earphones and earrings, blouse so far. Thank you to all those people who sent such sweet smses and who called to wish me. My wishes for the rest of the year.....
1) for the students to get focused and start doing their work diligently
2) they will all hand in their work on time without being asked
3) lots of happy and memorable moments with loved ones

pachai niramae

One of my favourite songs - it looks at the various colours and the ways in which they are beautiful

Wonderful Surprise
Today is a day when so much happens that I dont know where to start. Well I guess I'll start with the nicest part - my class got me a cake and card and surprised me!. I was really happy today. It was absolutely wonderful of them. That they had gotten organized and done this is really an achievement. I was so proud - I told everyone in the staffroom, my principal and my HODs what my class had done. I went to share the cake with them so that they would also know my class has a heart. I was suspicious something was up when the class was very restless during English. Then when my HOD came to ask if the class can do the NE quiz during the last period so I readily agreed. The class went silent, confused and then gave a collective "NOOOOOOOOO!" This made me even more suspicious but I just thought they were just being extra crazy. Then Zhen Hong and Adib ask to go and change the quiz to another day. Strange but I let them do it. Then Zheng Hong asks to go to the toilet! And he leaves the class and turns left instead of right. Now I get really suspicious. Then I find out the truth when they come back with a huge cake! I was really pleasantly surprised. So shocked I didn't know what to say. Hai I wish I had my camera - then i could have taken a photo with all of them. Can someone please send me the pic of the cake? Thank you 4e and jasmine (for spending time on the card) - really one of the best birthdays ever.
Oh ya - and some of the morons in my class wanted to put 4 candles on the cake - hey I am not that old! Eternally 27!

The Realm of Water Lotus is Back!!!
So I finally redid the skin. Well "I" didn't. I just borrowed from blogskins. It is not the picture I wanted but it will have to do till I have time to do one with lotuses. Someone asked if lotus is my favourite flower. Well it is just that my name means water lotus. Hence, the fascination with the lotus. It, being associated with peace and serenity calms me down after a stressful day.

Two steps forward, one step backward. Those are the sentiments towards my class. Everytime I do something to improve things there will be favourable comments from others. Then one or two people in the class will do something and then the complaints will start and the people who complain will not say who is the cause. He or she will just make a generalization that the whole class is like that. Yesterday I was asked if I do anything at all to improve matters in the class. FRUSTRATING!

Sometimes when you walk into a class, and you see students sleeping, chatting away, the first instinct is to scold them until they sit up. But today I wondered what was their issue that they looked so disillusioned and lacked energy. I wish I could solve their problems but I can't(Besides I don't know what are their problems). I am not a miracle-worker. So you go into class and just do your job that is to teach. But what good is it when teaching takes place and learning doesn't. It was very frustrating to do revision and find out that they want me to reteach everything. They are good kids at heart but with no motivation for their future. I call it the Peter Pan syndrome. They see themselves suspended in time - forever remaining as fun-loving teenagers. When will they see the light? I am waiting........

Just when I am wondering if this is the job for me, I saw a bookmark in my pigeon hole today. One shaped like a ladybird! So sweet! A student had thought of me when travelling and had got it for me. It was really a great surprise. And at the end of a long tiring day somemore....
Will treasure it

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: PhilosophyMusicTheologyArtHistoryForeign language

What Should You Major In?

Ok no more depressing mumbo-jumbo. Look for the good things in life i say. My friends treated me to dinner yesterday - a very early birthday treat! That was a surprise. It was good food and good company too at Cedele. The food choices are great and the ambience just right. We walked around a bit before having dessert at Coffee Club. That was another great treat! The mud pie is a must try. Big portion but just nice to be shared with 4 people. Hehe.
Now I am trying to find a good salon to have a hair-cut. Hopefully it turns out well.

I went out for dinner with a few friends just now. We were having discussions about our jobs as teachers and one friend asked why do we keep doing what we do with so many unappreciative and ungrateful students. Students who take it for granted that it is our job to stay back at night to help them, to reteach(not revise mind you) last minute everything you have done over the past year, days before the exam, to give them another copy of the homework assignment when they are careless and lose it and the list goes on. Another friend says jokingly that its because we get paid to do so. So just to get paid we need to go through this? Thats when I decided then and there, I cannot be too emotionally attached to this job. If I am going to put in the effort, they have to show and prove to me they deserve it. They may have pressing problems at home or in their love life and they need to choose. Do they want to be victims or overcome these situations? So from now on, I will treat it just as a job, not a passion. Its too hurtful otherwise. Pointless.

Am back after a holiday in Hong Kong. Really needed the break away from work, students and all that marking. It was good also coz I got to spend time with my husband, someone whom I have been neglecting during the school term. Hong Kong was refreshingly different. I was expecting to see rude and loud people and thought that it would be difficult with the language barrier. It wasn't anything like that. The people were warm and friendly and tried their best to communicate with us in their halted English. I really liked their service. The shopping was wonderful - so much variety and at reasonable prices. The shops in Singapore are such a bore in contrast. It's like anywhere else is better than here. Why? It is the service. They really need to improve and learn to be genuinely warm. Not smile at you and greet you as you walk into the shop and then their face changes you as they find out you are not buying anything.
Well I really had a great time there. After the high that comes with a holiday comes the low of getting back to the routine of things. It is such a chore but at least there's still a few days more before school starts. Time to catch up with old friends.

And there it comes - ranting and venting as students call it. Do I call parents to complain? Yes, when the student is going astray. When you are not in school or late, yes I am upset because you are telling me that my advice or lessons are not important. You are sending a message that you don't care. It doesn't matter if you don't think it. The image you portray through your actions and behaviour is what counts. It is because as an adult and as a teacher its my job to make sure my students perform their best not only in their academic work but also that they learn the right vaules. It is my job to make sure they are prepared for their next step. It is my job to be the adult in the situation. So hate me if you must - Somebody has to pull you from the dream world you are living in. Passion and talent is one thing. Priorities is another. If you get your balance right, you don't need to give up anything.
I took music for 15 years of my life. So don't tell me I understand nothing about passion. My schoolwork suffered a lot coz of my so called passion for the art. Though I have been enriched a great deal by the experience, if I had set my priorities right, I would have done better in my studies. I realise it now and it would have helped if someone had taken the time to tell me to then.
When we adults scold it is with the hindsight we have. But I guess students these days want to make their own mistakes and learn from their mistakes. So I am wrong - point noted. Students want to jump into the river and struggle. Teachers are not allowed to pull them out even if they see them struggling. Even when they are gasping for breath, we should stand and do nothing. Point definitely noted.
Why do I get so upset and call parents? Because at some point when the kid does badly and I don't inform them, the parents may ask why they were the last to find out. And if I was a parent, I would ask the same thing. So the kids may hate me for calling their parents, but they don't know what went on in that conversation. Sometimes I think they don't realise that we used to be teenagers too who used to feel inadequate and went through a lot in our teens. I don't need to reveal my whole teenage life to show I understand.
I am upset that my intentions have been misconstrued. But a job needs to be done, and just because it is misunderstood, it doesn' t mean that I will stop doing it.

I am sitting in school on a Friday afternoon during the second week of the school holidays. Why? Waiting for students to hand in their files and books. Will they turn up? I don't think so. Why do I wait? In the wild hope that some of them will remember. I have been asking for the books and files for the past two weeks. And yet some of them when asked today tell me they will give it to me on Monday. I do not understand how this can happen. I really don't.
Some of them are still having fun thinking there is still time. You keep telling them to wake up their ideas but they do not. What they do not realise is that if they start their revision too late, they will not have the energy to study for long periods. Just like a body needs conditioning to get fit, the brain needs to get used to increased activity. You cannot cram a lot of information into the brain and think that is will be able to process all that information quickly. The brain will break down, headaches appear and the body shuts down. And what if this happens during the o levels? Welll I can watch as a bystander because at some point enough is enough. I cannot keep nagging at them.

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

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