Why do you hold on to a friendship that is dying? Simply for the reason that it has been a long friendship? This friend I have had for more than 10 years. We have shared long talks, movies and sharing sessions. But recently it seems like I am making all the effort, all the forgiving and all the understanding. The few times we meet we always end up talking about her exciting life, her problems. In between I get asked how my life is. As soon as I start talking about school, I get the feeling she switches off. Even when its about a positive experience, there's no encouragement. Two sentences in and we are talking about her again. I don't mind listening to her problems but I wish sometimes to be listened to as well. It has been like this for years but I hold on in the hope that it will change. Due to the busy period in school I don't get a chance to call so often. But yet I made the attempt to call. She was warm on the phone. We had small talk and she asked when we could meet. Somehow I wasn't too excited about meeting up. I was hesitant as I didn't want to meet up and do all the listening. So we drift apart further.
Maybe its my job as a teacher. More and more, people switch off when I talk about school - to them school is boring and students are so childish. Sometimes people would ask - Why don't you teach in a polytechnic or an independent school? Teaching in a neighbourhood school must mean you met a lot of troublesome kids. Why not go for an easier environment? Why indeed? They just don't get it. And thus this teacher's world gets smaller as only other teacher friends understand what I go through. But I don't want it to be like that. I am interested in finding out about other people's lives and their jobs. So why can't they listen about my job? How do I motivate myself when outside my teaching world, it is considered a dead end job?
On the other hand another friend - I needed to pass her something but I couldn't. I didn't call her as I felt she would think that I was irresponsible. Today I saw her from a distance and called to tell her I has seen her. She was already at her car with her husband when she dropped everything she was doing and walked back just to see me. No scoldings. And we picked up on our conversation from some time ago. And she just happens to be a teacher. So maybe I should just thank my lucky stars and should be content with my teacher friends.